It is much more common now for couples who are getting married to have lived together before the wedding. In other parts of the world living together before marriage hasn't had the social stigma that is had in the United States. Up until the 1970's, American couples living together were considered to be "living in sin". Times sure have changed and the number of unmarried U.S. couples who live together before marriage has jumped from approximately 500,000 in 1970 to several million today (source:Wartik). It is estimated that up to 70% of couples will cohabitate before marriage.
This means that most of the couples who are getting married now will not have much to register for in preparation for their wedding. Gift registries are designed for couples to start their lives together and get all the things for their home that they need. Most couples will find this difficult if they have lived together for some time already. So here are a few tips to help with what to do:
*Upgrade!- So you have lived together for quite some time and have everything you already need. Well now might be the time to upgrade! How are your pans? Time to get new ones? Register for the ones you may not be able to afford on your own! If someone gifts them to you, great! If not, you already have pans and everything else you need. No harm, no foul.
*Honey Moon Money!!!- Sites like HoneyFund.com and HoneymoonWishes.com have popped up in the last few years for just this reason- couples do not feel right registering for gifts for their homes so asking guests for contributions for the honeymoon is a no-brainer to some!
*Spread the word- no gifts!- If you really feel strongly about not wanting gifts think about skipping the whole registry all together. You really can not ask people not to give you gifts on the invitation, it is just not proper etiquette but you can ask your family, friends and wedding party to do so on your behalf. Tell you parents to spread the word. Ask your bridesmaids to skip the shower in lieu of a nice engagement party instead. Have them explain to guests that their presence at the party is present enough to you and your fiancé.
*Cash? Is that an option?- Well, you should never ask ask for specific gifts, monetary or otherwise. What you can do is let them know (if they ask) that you would prefer cash gifts. Let your parents, siblings, wedding party, and close friends know too-- and if your guests ask them, have them relay your preference. But do NOT announce it in a formal way to your guest and whatever you do do not mention it on the invitation! If guests are curious, they'll ask someone close to you what types for gifts you would like to receive. Still, some guests will want to buy you material gifts- so it is a good idea to register somewhere for a few items. And of course, be sure to accept and acknowledge every gift gracefully. That means send out thank-you notes!! As for monetary gifts, let the giver know how you intend to spend their gift in a thank-you card!
OK so I I finished this blog and saved it as a draft about a month ago, then this morning I came across this crazy cool website. So there is another option added to this write-up! Check it out and let me know what you think!
*ZOLA!!!- And now the cream of the crop… www.ZOLA.com where you can register for really anything you want! One stop registering for all of you gift needs! Want to register at HomeGoods? Done! Want to register for Honeymoon Funds? Done!! Want to register for cash gifts? Done! All at the same site! Give your guests one link to follow and all your gift needs are taken care of. Thank. You. ZOLA!!
Hope all of this helps and makes this part of the process just a little bit easier :-)
Hello all & sorry I have not written anything in a while! Things have been super busy but I am back on track and will be posting new blogs regularly so keep checking back often to see what new topics I will be talking about.
I found the picture to the left on DestinationWeddingMag.com about a month back and immediately shared it on my FB page www.Facebook.com/DetailedEngagements. This caught a lot of people's attention and I was told was actually used by more than a few people who were putting their guest list together! When putting the guest list together there are SO many factors at play here but the biggest one that I hear talked about is the cost. My rough estimate is $100 per person, think of each one of your guests as a $100 bill. Not to seem rude but are they worth a $100 bill to you? And for the majority of us $100 will not even cover it!
So to help with the question I so often get asked of how to deal with the Guest List problem I have come up with a few questions to ask yourself:
1. Are they worth a $100 bill to you? Can you see yourself handing over a crisp, 100 dollar bill of them to come to your wedding? If the answer is no then wipe them off your list right away!
2. Will you be introducing them to your fiancé on the day of your wedding? If the answer is yes then for 99% of people this will wipe them off of your guest list. There will be some extenuating circumstances which will allow for people who fall in this category but will still get an invite. These are people who live very far away but you would still like to have at your special day.
3. Is it so important for your parents to have them their that they will pay for their invite? If so then invite them. If they have not done anything to personally offend either yourself or your fiancé then it should be fine if they come. You parent's best friends from high school or church should be there. Your family is proud of you and wants to show you off on one of the most important days of your life- let them :-)
These three very simple questions should help you with all those maybes that you have on your guest list! If you still have a question about someone after looking at the flow chart and asking these 3 questions then invite them to your wedding! For some reason you are having a hard time figuring it out so maybe that is a sign- just invite them!! Good luck and let me know how you make out!
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